By: Jeremy
You of little faith… Why did you doubt?
There’s this story of Jesus and Peter that we find in Matthew 14 where Jesus is walking on water. After hearing Jesus’ call, Peter decides to get out of the boat and tries to walk on the water as well. At first, Peter does great. He takes a few steps and is actually doing it. But then he looks around, gets scared, and starts to sink. He calls out to Jesus “save me!” and Jesus does. Then as they get back into the boat, Jesus makes this statement: “You of little faith…Why did you doubt?” (Matt 14:31).
It seems like Jesus is accusing Peter of not having faith, almost in a condescending way. It’s like Jesus is saying, “why didn’t you just keep your eyes on me?” as though it’s that simple. It’s brutal to have people say “why didn’t you just do this or that?” when we fail. We think, “I know I’ve failed already, I don’t need you to tell me why or second guess me. It just doesn’t help.” Yet, I wonder if, instead of accusing Peter, Jesus may simply be using Peter as a model for all of us for how we could meet with Him. Perhaps, in following Jesus, it’s perfectly normal to lose a little faith. Perhaps, it’s perfectly normal to doubt.
It’s interesting how, in Scripture, the “Heroes of Faith” are not really heroes at all. David committed adultery and murder, Moses got angry, Samson was seduced, and Peter doubted. Wouldn’t it be great if Peter didn’t doubt at all and walked across the water to meet with Jesus? It would probably give us a sense that there’s hope for us too. If Peter had overcome his doubts, it would provide us with a model for how we can also overcome our own doubts. But what would happen to us? I think we would keep trying to get things right, to do things perfectly; but we would then repeatedly fail and eventually give up.
Our “Heroes of Faith” didn’t always get it right and, fortunately for us, the call isn’t about getting it right from beginning to end. The call is to simply be obedient, knowing that there are times when we will succeed and times where we will fail and doubt. There’s freedom in that, don’t you think? To know that we don’t have to be perfect, that we don’t have to have it all figured out. It’s not to say that we shouldn’t keep moving forward, but there isn’t this pressure to meet a certain standard. We have the freedom to fail and doubt. We don’t have to pretend to the community, to the church, or even our friends that we are perfect or have a rock solid faith. Rather, we are given permission to embrace doubt and failure because it’s only then that we call out to Jesus to “save us!”
So often when I speak with people and hear their thoughts on serving and what they want to do, the thing I hear the most in response is “I’m not ready yet.” But, what are we really saying that we aren’t ready for? Many of us think, “I’m not ready to: serve in the Victoria Village neighbourhood … be on EMC or EB … lead worship … talk to my friends about Christ … give up control of my finances and belongings; because I’m not spiritual enough, I’m not good enough, and I’ll fail.” What if we changed our mindset from “Am I ready to overcome and be spiritual?” to “Am I ready to fail and doubt?” because that’s where we really start meeting with Jesus.