On the floor outside of our room, we received bungee cords this morning. The bungee cord represented things that held us back from being who God calls us to be. As I’ve been reflecting this week, I wonder if one of my “cords” is this fear of disappointing others. I can appreciate how culturally, my identity is tied to those around me, but perhaps, I never realized how much. When I fail, I feel as though I’ve let others down, that I’ve disappointed those around me and wasted the effort they have invested in me. This isn’t anything particularly new and I’ve mentioned this before, so I’m wondering why God is bringing this particular theme to my mind.
So far, two questions have come to my mind: Is it a worry that I will be exposed as a fraud? And/or is it a fear of rejection that if I don’t measure up, I will be left on my own? It’ll be interesting to see how God continues to challenge me in this area.
Jer